Monsters Living Among Us and Feeding on Our Pain.

*Sits down at the campfire, with flashlight in hand*

Are you ready for the scariest monster story you’ve ever heard?

Over the course of thousands of years, an evil has been growing in our world. It invades people’s bodies, it feeds on their pain and fear. It spreads throughout the body, forcing constant agony on the host. That is how it breathes, that’s the energy it feeds on. So the person slowly declines and suffers an unseen struggle. Others do not (and often cannot) believe them. For many years they were accused of being monsters themselves. They were cast out as demons, or tried as witches. All while the monster inside them feasted on their misery. In later years people assumed it was something that individual could eradicate with herbs and special foods. When in fact, the only relief came when the pain subsided. Sometimes they could reach out to others and find help, but not everyone believed the pain was real. In many cases the monster was so strong that someone infected just couldn’t battle it anymore and took their own life to stop the pain. Even still, people without the monsters didn’t believe. They looked at those in pain and saw only a person, not the struggle inside. These monsters cannot be killed, but they can be quieted. Their food supply can be cut off, by finding people that believe the pain is real and are willing to help them the way they need to be helped.

The scariest part of the story is that these monsters exist, and they occupy millions of people all over the world. They come in the form of auto-immune disease, chronic pain, genetic disorders, and so much more.

We fight every day against the monsters! All we want is to be heard, and to have people believe our pain is real. We want research on pain medication that will once and for all HELP people in pain. We need to stop assuming everyone that takes pain meds are drug seekers. We need to recognize the impact of pain on mental health and take this in to account during treatment. We HAVE to do better! We HAVE to BE better!

We can’t let the monsters win.

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My Pain is Being a PILL!

***Fair Warning! I wrote this at 2:30 am… really hoping it makes sense!***

 

What happens when you think you took your medication, but might not have? Well, that’s a crazy question, because you’re meticulous about putting every pill in each days slot of the weekly medication holder, so why wouldn’t each pill be in each slot? Good question! One could deduce that a random fairy or gnome stopped by and noticed I had left Sunday mornings pill box open, so they decided to rummage through to find a……. ok I’m over making up stupid stuff. I messed up! Somehow I didn’t put my pain pill, my most important (well, to me) medication into the Sunday morning slot in my pill box. When did I notice this? Sunday evening when I could barely move the pain was so intense. I had chalked it up to the weather being bad, which does usually set me into flare mode, but this was different. By night I was shaky and my temp wouldn’t regulate, I knew that feeling… withdrawal. I hadn’t had my pain pill! What the holy hell! It was time (anyway) to get my pills set out for the next week, so I got started on that and took a pain pill (which I don’t usually do in the evening, but it wasn’t a “usual” kind of night). After making a 1000 percent sure every pill was in every slot, I took my evening pills and prayed that I could get to sleep at a decent hour. That was at 11 pm, it is now 2:30 am. Now, just to give you an idea how bad that is… I take multiple sleeping pills and supplements that are supposed to knock me out because of my terrible insomnia. Still awake.

People get on my case for how many prescriptions I take, but what they don’t understand is that those meds are the culmination of the research that companies have put into that which I am suffering from. Yes, there are side-effects! Yes, I take that risk upon myself when I take that drug. Yes, I would prefer to have anther viable alternative (but as of right now it is not legal in the state I live in). So, for now I will do what my doctor tells me to do and take my 15 prescription medications and 7 vitamins/supplements that I know based on research have helped some people in my situation. I will not reduce myself to snake-oil because it “cured” a bunch of people (which is a statistical impossibility). I can’t help being a realist, it’s just who I am. I look at things how they are, not how they could be. So, how things are for me… I need these medications to function on a daily basis. If I do not take them on a daily basis, I cannot function.

Like today.